We had an awesome vacation last week, despite the fact that we got rained out of two of our day trips (the pool and the zoo). The first day, we took the kids to the Crayola Experience.
So tired. Only 2 more days until vacation… and I need it! My brain is just D O N E. Between juggling our schedules, Morgan’s appointments, work, and just life, I’m tired.
This week has been…. ugh. That’s all I can say about that.
I got hungry 3 nights ago. Not knowing what I wanted, I threw something together. Tofu sauteed in sesame oil with sweet, heat, chili sauce, green and wax beans, green onion, and sesame seeds. Turned out to be phenomenal!! Totally making this again!
2 nights ago we had Japanese curry. The hubs and the kids had theirs with panko crusted chicken and onions and I had mine with crispy tofu, onions, green onions, steamed broccoli, and garbanzo beans.
So yesterday for lunch… leftovers!!!!!!!!
I didn’t think that I could find much at the Chinese buffet if I went with my family… but that happened too!
I can’t wait until next week. I like spending time in Lancaster, PA because I get some super yummy fruits and veggies so dinners will be exceptionally good next week. Fresh and local is definitely the way to go.
Sorry that I missed the last few days. Morgan had a surgery Thursday (nothing crazy), spent a few days at my sister’s house, worked, and got to see some friends that I haven’t seen in a while/met for the first time.
So I made a breakfast scramble yesterday that was sooooo good. I tweaked the “egg” recipe to add extra garlic. It made them so much better.
“Eggs”. green and red bell peppers, onions (lots), and fresh and powdered garlic. Recipe for “eggs”:
1 block (15 ounces) of firm or extra firm (I prefer extra firm) tofu
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp garlic powder (add more if you love garlic)
1/4 sea salt
1/4 turmeric powder
3 Tbsp.vegetable broth (I don’t use this, but I guess you can)
So there ya go!
The kids love it too!
For lunch I made buffalo tofu bites, rosemary and olive oil quinoa, and garlic asparagus sauteed in coconut oil.
Press the tofu to get all the liquid out, coat in flour and dust off the excess, pan fry with peanut oil, and toss in your favorite buffalo wing sauce. If you like ranch
This is what I use because it’s the only one I can find in this area but there are other brands, and you can also make your own. Either way, this was a yummy lunch!
Dinner was easy…
Yesterday, I went to dinner with friends… Red Robin. Probably the best place to eat vegan. So glad that they have so many vegan choices, and they serve Boca burgers!
Twice in one day! I had to share this. My sister made taco lasagna for dinner… So I made some too!
1 pack of extra firm tofu, 1 packet of taco seasoning (or mix your own), 1 bag of shredded “cheese” (I used pepper jack shown above), and lasagna noodles (I learned my lesson, don’t use the no boil noodles). Make your tofu up with the taco seasoning and then layer like you would regular lasagna. Bake until done and then top with your favorite taco toppings!!!!
The kids both loved it and so did I.
For dessert, dark chocolate truffle ice cream. Yummy!
Anxiety: I’ll see if I can find a good way to describe it. It almost feels like misplaced adrenaline? Like constant flight in a non fight or flight situation.
I worry about things that other people would think is silly. I don’t just worry, I obsess. I make lists, I replay conversations over and over again in my head, I re-read text messages until I feel beyond broken. I compare myself to other people, but I am not a narcissist. I am not doing it to feel better or worse about myself, I do it to try to understand.
I feel empathy. When someone near me is sad, I feel sad. When someone near me is happy, I feel happy. When someone near me feels hopeless, I understand.
I want to feel normal. I want to go a whole day without feeling like something was wrong somewhere in my life. I feel like an emotional wreck most of my day. On the flip side, I feel monumentally accomplished when I do something that I think that I could not do or when I think I’m not going to finish something on time and I get it done, better than I thought, and early!
I stay awake at night wondering what is going to happen to me in the future, what will happen to my kids if something happens to me, what will happen to my husband? Geez. I wake up exhausted.
This is the shit that goes through my mind. It’s awful not being able to let go of things. I wish I could be one of those people but it just doesn’t happen. I laugh at people when they tell me, “you need to let it go”. Sure thing buddy, tell me how.
I’ve tried breathing exercises, counting things, doing the “sight, smell, touch, sound” exercises, and countless others. Walking, driving, humming… Temp fixes for a permanent thing. I feel defective.
I JUST WANT TO SCREAM!
The other thing that pisses me off… “I know how you feel…” Nope. Thanks well adjusted friend. Comparing how I feel all the time to how you feel before a first date, not the same. That is nervous, there is a difference. I hate when people try to make you feel like they get it when they don’t. They try to convince you that this one time, when something happened to them… Still not getting it. I don’t need you to tell me you know how I feel, I need you to just be there. Sometimes human contact goes a long way. A hug makes a difference, not always, but sometimes. I know it’s sad, but sometimes I keep people around that I don’t like so that I know who not to turn into. I’ll probably never tell them that but there is my secret, lol.
Until next time friends….
So 4 days, down 2 lbs. I told you that I just needed a good kick in the ass! I know how to eat right, I know what to eat, I know what not to eat… I just have to do it. I decided to start a food journal the day that I wrote my last post. There is this website that I found that helps with calories. Check it out:
Just enter your gender, height, weight, age, and your activity level and it will tell you what you need as far as calories to: Maintain your weight, loose weight, or to loose weight fast.
I was DRINKING most of my calories during the day. Coffee (like large iced coffees) and energy drinks. I know that they are terrible for me but just wanted them soooo bad. So, if I calculated all that stuff, wrote down what I ate or drank… After my coffees and energy drinks, I had about 10 calories left for food for the day.
So, more fruits and veggies, less sugars and salts, that is a definite. Everyone screams protein… still a no. EVOO? Still bad for you. Coconut oil? There ya go! Can’t read the ingredients? Yeah….. no. Does it have a shelf life longer than you? Come on, that’s a no brainer!
So, down 2 pounds. Rawr! I got this! I haven’t been hungry either. Snacking, definitely! Fresh… so good. I got too used to quick and easy and convenient. I would like to blame stress or holidays but honestly, feeling good on the inside helps to make your stress levels more manageable, and I know this because I’ve done it before. Time to do it again!
Meanwhile, I’m gonna do the gallon water challenge again.
What does your dinner plate look like? How many calories are you taking in a day? Do you know? Are you drinking enough water? Are you treating yourself with the no-nos once in a while? Let us know!
Day 2497: 1 year… I can’t believe that I haven’t posted anything in that long. Today should be nice and relaxing, ya know, day off and all. My brain won’t let me relax. I’ve been feeling pretty awful lately. I stopped pumping about 2 months ago, and I miss it, but I also feel like I have that little extra time every day. Other side effect, not burning as many calories. I know that I have been stress eating a lot lately too. I need to get my butt re-motivated. Time to once again stop eating crap just because it tastes good and eat things that are better for me that I can make taste good. I have gotten lazy with it all tbh. I just don’t like the way that I feel. Tired, depressed, just flat out blah. I get cravings for stuff that is good for me… but then I go with something cheaper or more convenient. I NEED TO STOP DOING THAT. This is me yelling at myself and kicking myself in the ass.
So, know better, do better. Time to hold myself accountable again. Let’s do this! Let’s get back on track. I CAN DO THIS! RAWR!